For around a month, a couple years back I began to engage in a blog, and not just any blog. A Capetonian Food Blog. In my mind, I honestly thought I was going to change the landscape of foodwriting, bring in a new thought process to the Hipster run eateries & the high-end Haute-Cuisine. Offering new perspective from an international trend setter and food watcher like myself. I truly believed that my opinion mattered and that my substance was far more entertaining and engaging than other style-based blogs. I was never looking for free stuff or a huge database of followers. All I wanted to do was to write and engage with people. Share my thoughts and have my voice heard, maybe share in an experience or two.
BOY!!! Was i mistaken.
I wasn't wrong about my ability to engage, the lack of readers or the context. What i was wrong about was me. I lacked the drive and perseverance to write a regular blog. I found out some interesting things about me this year, one of them being that I am a hugely anxious person. "ANXIOUS" you say? Yip, i have a constant feeling of being judged and disappointing people. I need clarity and understanding to engage and converse. All things that go against self-motivation and self-determination, factors that bring self doubt and exacerbates the my ill-conceived notion that i am a poor writer. Which i am... Grammatically speaking. Causing a streak of demotivation and becoming totally disinterested in my own passions and writing. When my said "You're shit" I honestly believed it.
I've noticed that the internet, social media and pop culture was and still is rewarding the most narcissistic. This new breed of person, regardless of their social status and class bring with them a demand for entitlement. These people drive me bananas. Standing on their modern minimalist peddle-stool, pointing their unworked fingers at people they know nothing about. People who use hashtags like #WorseThanHitler or #FirstWorldProblems. The ones who get shitfaced at a trance festival and then drive home. The type who constantly talk about themselves and never once ask "How you doing?" You know the type I'm talking about. These type of people get my goat, but this is for a different post altogether.
But now that I am aware of my stupid fears and now have some clarity, I know what was holding me back. I understand my aversion to putting myself out there to be judged by people I have never meet before, the biggest fear was being judged by the people that did know me. Why? Who know? As much as I have asked my brain "why?", the only answer i get is an imaginary brain shrug.
So once again I embark on this journey. This bogus journey into my passions and my hates. Television, film, music, food art, pop culture, sports etc. Things I love, things that make my blood boil, things that are controversial. My hope is to write what I am interested in. "Write what you know" as the old adage goes. I religiously watch the latest episodes as close to them coming out as possible. Obviously i am selective in my watching habits, but I only watch what i find engaging and entertaining. Film and Music is extremely important to me. I watch a shitton of Football (soccer for you Yanks) & SPort,
I don't believe in Censorship. But i do believe in decency. My hope is this can be a place of honesty, integrity and humility. I will not accept or tolerate racism, bigotry, sexism, intolerance (Ironic), trolling or misogyny. Yes, lets argue and debate, But for fuck sake's, we will be civilised!
I'm not a designer or arty. I'm wordy. Thats the type of blog you'll get.
This is my prelude. This is my revival.
Onwards & Upwards We Climb.
Stay Tuned Kids.
